Recently, a woman told me that my ex is my twin flame. In the first years, I thought of him as a soulmate, later as a karmic partner. But I donāt think he is a twin flame, because I believe that another person from my past is.
You might ask why, how I knewā¦?
Because of that striking, unearthly, magical connection we had between us. It felt as if we were mirrors of one another. So alike and yet so different, but we saw things in each other that others seemed blind to. I saw things in him that he hadnāt seen in himself, and the same was true the other way around. We felt as if we were parts of each other, as if we were one. He knew exactly how I was feeling just from me writing āhi.ā Every one of our chats began the same way, yet somehow he recognized it, sensed it, based only on a few letters. He couldnāt lie to me about anythingāI knew every truth, nothing could be hidden.
We provoked each other, pushed each other forward, expanded our knowledge and our possibilities. I was never caught in spirals of āhow does he feel about meāāhe felt exactly as I did. It was draining, all-consuming, and at the same time nourishing and enlightening. It destroyed everything in me, and yet I have never been more myself, truly myself, even showing what was hidden. I have never felt anything like it since.
I still feel the connection. I know how it is, I sense him as a part of me. Itās a little uncomfortable, but I actually like it. Itās not longing or pain, justā¦ a part of me that isnāt around to give me that unbelievable charge and to rearrange me again. It was shaking, maybe even a little unhealthy.
I like to say that I lived because of him, and now I live in his honor, because everything I am and everything I know about myself is thanks to that terribly irritating instigator who took the ground from beneath my feet and showed me that if I have no ground, maybe I can fly. He believed i will. I am grateful for every lesson, every second, but I do not wish to be with him or even to see him. Why? Because something in our interaction was darkātoo intense and too much. The truth is that neither of us can resist, control, or harmonize ourselves when the other is part of their life.
Thatās why I think he is a twin flameāI think thatās simply what itās called. For me, my personal name for it is: a part of me, probably the worse part, probably the part I will always remember.
