It has been a year and a half. I thought by now the feeling would fade, but it hasn’t. This isn’t like other endings. There’s a connection that stays, a constant pull that hurts. Some days I feel okay, like I can breathe again. Then it comes back, this wave of missing, and I’m right back at the start.
I try to sit with it. I focus on my breath, in and out, and wait for the feeling to pass. It does, for a while. But it always returns. The cycle is so tiring. How long can a person carry this? I worry about what it does to me, if I can really live with a heart that feels split in two like this.
Can a bond like this ever be broken? Is there a way to heal it, to soften the edges so it doesn’t cut so deep? I don’t know what to hope for anymore. I just want to know if the pain ends. Has anyone found a way through? I would be grateful to hear it.